And so it begins...
http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-09-27-chimpanzee_N.htm
"VIENNA (AP) — He's now got a human name — Matthew Hiasl Pan — but he's having trouble getting his day in court.
Animal rights activists campaigning to get Pan, a 26-year-old chimpanzee, legally declared a person vowed Thursday to take their challenge to Austria's Supreme Court after a lower court threw out their latest appeal."
Some of us knew this day would come. The Austrian Supreme Court needs to consider its next steps very carefully, since their decision could very likely trigger a chain of events that may eventually end with gorillas on horseback hunting humans for sport, I tell you!
Needless to say, I've been following this case very closely. Pan the chimp actually argued his case very persuasively in court, and at one point even brought the bailiff near tears when he paraphrased Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice" with the question "Hat nicht ein Schimpanse Augen, Ihre Ehre?" ["Hath not a chimp eyes, your Honor?"], and it looked like he was going to win his personhood right up until the point when he tossed some poo at the judge.
After that it was pretty much downhill for him.
IT'S A MAD HOUSE!!
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